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Monday, July 18, 2011

Nesting… it ain’t always pretty.

As we get closer to D-day {Delivery Day… not Doom’s Day, mind you} my anxiety levels seem to be on a roller coaster ride of peaks and troughs. My inner-most thoughts swirl around what still needs to be organized in the house, what still needs to be purchased, put together, nailed to the wall, what information we need to bone-up on and just which particular day in an already hectic schedule this is all going to occur on. When I’m not panicking, I’m planning, scheming, executing, and asking my dear husband to do just one more thing, which seems to calm the panic.

It must be said that the only true panic I’ve experienced happened last Saturday. After a 10 hour day at work on my feet, I came home determined to turn this house upside down until everything was neatly organized into 1 of 12 totes or in what I deemed to be the “correct closet” for an item to be stowed. Nick had been home that day and even though he had finished oodles around the house, I felt the need to do more. After carrying the 13th load down the stairs at almost midnight, I broke into hysterics at my dear baseball loving husband watching America’s favorite past-time in the living room.

Had he already worked all day on the house and deserved a break at almost midnight?

Did he know I was idiotically carrying large totes of junk up and down the basement stairs by myself and fearing I would go into pre-term labor at any moment, still just couldn’t stop myself?

Would he have jumped up to help me if he had 1.) Been aware or 2.) I had asked?

After I sobbed a tiny dramatic bit, I decided I had finally hit bottom and called it a night {setting my alarm clock extra early so I could get up and do more on a Sunday morning before work…}. I was them able to more rationally explain to my poor, confused husband my fears and apologized for the water works.

Thankfully, most of this pregnancy has been rather calm. More psychotic breaks like this and I may have been admitted to the looney bin.

{Though Nick probably enjoys it – One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest is one of his favorite movies!}

Amazingly, in the week since that small panic attack, progress has been made beyond anything I had ever imagined possible in such a small amount of time. {Hence, my absence from blog-world!} The glider and ottoman finally came in for the nursery, all the furniture is finished being painted and put in place, the fabric arrived for the curtains, the majority of the house has been organized to a more tolerable arrangement, our new dining room suit has been delivered {pictures to come}, and the kicker: the house has been cleaned spotless and I didn’t have to do a single second of it!

We have hired what I consider to be, my very own cleaning fairy god-mothers =)

4 ladies + 4 1/2 hours cleaning every window inside and out as well as every piece of woodwork in the house and every inch of everything else including moving furniture to find socks I haven’t seen in years {thanks, Hendrix!} = one very happy preggo.

Previously, we had discussed possibly hiring a cleaning lady when I returned from maternity leave, but not before then. My plan had been to cut back to the minimum to still be considered full-time for a pharmacist, 32 hours, after baby and then determine if that was enough of a "break" to get the house done myself or consider the alternative. Long story short, my company decided to do a major overhaul this past June making all the managers salary positions at 40 hours with no option to cut back.

I have to say that a big reason for me going into this particular profession was the great amount of pay I could still make at part-time when I would “one day” become a mother. A great amount of time at home with my little one with a few hours of adult interaction and self validation in the business world seemed like the perfect mix. To say I was disappointed with this change right at the time I’m about to have my first child is an understatement.

I went through a little grieving, prayed about it and as usual, God gave a little push and made me see all my blessings once again: thankful I even have a job, thankful to be the manager and make my own schedule, thankful I’m being “forced” to work 40 hours and not having my hours cut back and begging for more work. It was a process and I’m sure I will have to remind myself of all the positives when I’m back at work after baby, but I am much more at peace with the situation today.

Back to the cleaning ladies… my other big blessings!

With the change in plans at work, I now knew I wanted some help when I went back. But with the little time we have left before Houston gets here and the many things besides cleaning that needed to be finished, hubs and I decided the time had come to go ahead with the hiring. These babies following me home after work each night helped the decision as well:

{Believe it or not, this was after an abnormal work day of SITTING in a meeting all day - not my usual 12 hours of standing... believe me, they actually get worse than this!=)}

All that to say my panic has almost disappeared with the progress we've made and cleaning fairy god-mothers coming bi-weekly... we may have even saved my marriage ;)

Nasty story about my nasty behavior combined with a nasty picture of my cankle - just keepin' it real, people!

Speaking of keeping it real... you know, Britney - go read her hilarious blog post about her preggo brain mix-up over my shower last night. {Shower re-cap to come, we had a fabulous time!!} You will laugh and feel compelled to say "Bless her heart..." in true Kentucky fashion. I love that girl!


  1. I gotta say... that's a totally acceptable reason to cry while you're pregnant! When I was pregnant, I once cried cuz my hubby made me a sandwich. I thought it was really nice of him and was overcome with emotion. The baby takes up so much room that we simply don't have room left for logic! ;)

  2. Emotions can get the best of us...even when we're not pregnant - so you're like a role model for the emotions you've been able to keep balanced! Love hearing about your stories.

  3. aww I love your stories...and your cankles :) thanks for keepin' it real :)

  4. Looking at your feet makes me hurt! Poor girl! Go ahead and hire that cleaning crew!

  5. Oh you poor mama! I'm praying for you :) And take care of those feet! Edema can be horrible, as you know!

  6. ohmyword! Love that sorry because it is soooo me. I am 27 weeks with twins and we are moving and I am a teacher and school starts soon so I have been working wayyyy too much. But I just can't stop! I hope that you take a few minutes to rest soon! Your poor ankles~Bless your heart!

  7. Bless YOUR heart and your feet/ankles. Mine did the saaaaame thing!!! And bless Nick's lil heart will all be okay...praying for ya'll!!!

    Love, Meli

  8. That is the funniest case of prego brain I have ever heard about! Can't wait to hear how she makes it up to you haha.

  9. I have never had my ankles look like that in all of my 6 pregnancies! {is that really an ankle??} "Bless your heart!"

  10. Oh my ankles looked like that too! I was so disgusted lol and now that they are back to normal I realize just how big they really were. It was all of a sudden one day a week or so after having the baby, my real ankles reappeared. It was a beautiful thing lol

  11. Your poor ankle! How awful! Is this what I have to look forward too...oh dear me. I cried last night because my husband told me he wanted to move to a neighboring county in the future. Cue hysterics!

  12. ooo my feet swelled up too! I called them my "hobbit feet" and don't worry, they disappeared by the time I was home from the hospital :)
    about the crying... girl, that ain't nothin! :) you are so totally justified a few tears! preggo hormones are nuts!

  13. I'm a medical resident with a 9 month old and I have to say that the cleaning service is essential. There's no point in chastising yourself for not doing the cleaning when you can take just a small amount of your income and make your life a whole lot easier. Re: your ankles... :( Have you tried support hose? I wore them while pregnant and still do when I know I'm going to be on my feet for long stretches. It makes a HUGE difference. Lastly, your meltdown story is excellent.

  14. Your poor feet! I feel ya girl! Hang in always does seem to work out. Maybe you could do 32 hours for a few months once you get back? It may be worth asking.

  15. We had MANY, MANY, MANY painful (and tear-filled) discussions about me working part-time vs full-time. My one condition for staying full-time after the baby was hiring a cleaning lady. Best. Decision. We. Ever. Made.

    And you're right. She has done WONDERFUL things for our marriage. In a very non-kinky kind of way.

    Keep your feet up! You're almost there!

  16. Hang in there with everything, you're getting so close to Houston's arrival! And I'd definitely go with the cleaning lady/service, I think it'd be well worth it!

  17. As the saying goes "Don't sweat the small stuff". As long as your baby has love, diapers, and food (and a couple of clothes) he'll be fine. There are so many children with parents who don't treasure them and love up on them and that is unthinkable. Bouncy seats, matching fabrics, dishwasher baskets are nice (I had that stuff and tons more when my kids were babies) but as my boys would say "Kids in Africa don't have (fill in the blank)". Just love, love, love on Houston and everything else just doesn't matter. And you poor soul! Your legs, feet, cankles are awful! Hope you have a great week!

    Karen in MD

  18. Well I'm not even preggo and I have instances like that all the time where my husband is watching tv (usually sports) and I expect him to read my mind that I need help. I'll never learn(:

    Your poor ankles. I can honestly sympathize with you, as mine did the same thing. The nurses and doctors never failed to comment about my "poor ankles." Hang in there, they'll go away within a couple days of having precious Harper!

    Oh and cleaning ladies are a Godsend! I would give up dinner once a week just to keep mine!

  19. I hope that you are not having the early signs of pre-eclampsia or Toxemia with all that swelling! Take care of your self and put your feet up!!! =)

  20. Oh no, girl! You need to not work so much. Looking at your foot, I can almost feel the pain. It's time to take it easy Little Lady, at least for the sake of your baby.

  21. Oh your poor ankles!! That is so not fun! Try to prop those puppies up as much as you can! After Houston gets here you'll wake up and think oh so that's what my feet look like! Its amazing!

  22. Bless your heart! We hired someone to start cleaning while I was pregnant and continue to have help in that area - worth every penny.

    I have a picture of my ankles that look just like that while pregnant's just miserable. Keep an eye on it...I had my little girl at 35 weeks because of pre-eclampsia. Not fun. Hope the swelling gets better, girl!!

  23. This is so funny, only because I am due on August 9th, and this past weekend I was totally overwhelmed about how things aren't ready. I made a huge to-do list for hubby, and had one major meltdown in the midst of it. So I'm right there with ya girl!

  24. I feel ya on the cankles! I had really bad swollen feet too...thought my feet would never return to normal! Now my baby is 8 months old and my ankles are all slim again..yay! There is hope!



    P.S. Getting things done for baby = awesome
    P.S.S. Having cleaning ladies = AWESOMER!


I just shared my thoughts, I'd love to hear you share yours! {Besides, I'm tired of listening to the voices in my head.} I kid, I kid... ;)